Kermit's Interviews
by RoMayDrako
Summary: Need more be said. R
1. Interview One

Special thanks to Quistisfan who is the reason I though of this, it's all her fault for mentioning the Wezzer song.  
  
Disclaimer I do not own FF 8 nor Muppets.  
  
  
  
"Hello! Welcome to the Muppet show. I'm Kermit the frog and today's show we have the caste of FF 8. YAY!" Kermit takes a deep breath. "Okay, so Finial fantasy 8 charaters introduce your self."  
  
"Squall Leonhart." Squall intoduces.  
  
"I'm Squall's dad, Laguna Loire."  
  
"Selphie Tilmitt, and I love surgar and Kinny poo." Selphie hugs Irvine.  
  
"Irvine Kinneas."  
  
"BOUYA! I'm Zell Dincht."  
  
"Dim-shit." Selphie giggles.  
  
"Dincht!" Zell shouts.  
  
Kermits face drops. "Okay, how about you sir how about you?"  
  
"Seifer Almsy, the only blonde in this game with brains."  
  
"Hey!" Quntis glares at him.  
  
"An' what's your name ma'am."  
  
"Quintis." Quintis glares at Seifer. "I'm a teacher at the school."  
  
"Was." Squall interupts.  
  
"Was, what happened?" Kermit asks.  
  
"Plain and simple, Squall." Quintis grumbles. "He gets me fired, and he becomes the head person of the school. Headmaster Cid the only person higher."  
  
"You should have let me kill him!" Seifer growls.  
  
"I'd kicked your ass easly." Squall responds back.  
  
"You dream."  
  
"Oui, my Seifer would beat Squall any day." Miss Piggy fawns and hugs Seifer's leg. "It's no probablem... For such a man like him."  
  
"I like this pig." Seifer smiles.  
  
"Hey Miss Piggy your my girl friend!" Kermit yells.  
  
"Hmf, you'll never be as big of a man... As Seifer. Mmmhmmm."  
  
"Errrrrr, give me that." Kermit grabs Squall's gunblade.  
  
"Hey."  
  
"Shit!" Seifer runs off.  
  
Selphie pulls out her camera and laughs. Zell punches the air and cheers for Kermit.  
  
"So this is what happens when frogs attack." Irvine says blankly. "Now I'm hungry for frog legs."  
  
The chef runs by chasing the chickens. Squall grabs his butcher knife and chases after Kermit.  
  
"Oui, dats my best knife!" The chef shrugs. "Oh well."  
  
"Come on Kermit kill Seifer!" Quintis roots.  
  
"Mmmm, it's so great when men fight over me." Miss Piggy smiles.  
  
***  
  
Sorry it's short. 


	2. Interview Two

Here we go again. Thanks again to QuistyFan. She's being a big help in the production.  
  
Disclaimer, I do not own FF 8 or da muppets.  
  
  
  
"Hello it's Kermit the frog, and welcome to the second Final Fantasy interview. This week we have Finial Fantasy ten, and hopefully there more controlled then the eight caste. So lets give it up for FF 10 YAY!" Kermit cheers them in. "So please introduce yourselves."  
  
"LuLu, and this is Yuna."  
  
"I can introduce my self." Yuna snaps in a cranky mood. "I'm Yuna, nice to meet you Kermit."  
  
"I'm Jecht, Tidus's father."  
  
"Damn you don't call yourself my father!" Tidus snaps. "You low down son of a bitch."  
  
Jecht rolls his eyes and pushes back his hair standing tall.  
  
"I'm Auron, everyone is cranky today I apologize." Auron says coolly.  
  
"Wakka, the best bitz ball player ever."  
  
"Rikku." Rikku smiles sweetly.  
  
"Kimahri."  
  
"And I'm Seymore."  
  
"See more what? wocka wocka wocka." Fozzie breaks in.  
  
Wakka looks confused wondering why his name was called three times. Kermit looks at Fozzie.  
  
"Fozzie that was not nice." Kermit scolds.  
  
"See more, Seymore." Rikku laughs.  
  
Seymore leaves before his name is degraded more. Kermit looks to him and Rikku then and Fozzie.  
  
"This is all your fault Fozzie." Kermit blames.  
  
"Fozzie, any relation to fozziemoto?" Jecht asks.  
  
"It's quaziemoto Jecht, or didn't you learn anything in school?" Tidus grumbles.  
  
Jecht glares at Tidus. Yuna hits Tidus in the head with her staff. Her eyes cold and unrelenting. She obviously didn't like how Tidus was acting towards his father. Kimahri and Auron move to a corner to watch.  
  
"Tidus apologize to your father!" Yuna orders.  
  
"Umm, this is not the Jerry Springer show." Kermit begins to panic.  
  
"No, this bastard was supposed to stay dead!" Tidus yells at Yuna.  
  
"Is that how your going to act if we have kids?" Yuna asks.  
  
"No."  
  
"Yes," Rikku and Wakka answer together.  
  
Tidus turns and glares at Rikku and Wakka. The both laugh together find this very amusing. Lu Lu puts her hand to her face and groans.  
  
"Oooo, did I hear FF bishies talking?" Miss piggy pops in her best dress.  
  
"Hey miss Piggy, why did the chicken cross the road?" Fozzie asks.  
  
"To beat the crap out of you." Miss Piggy pounds Fozzie to the floor.  
  
"Hey I like him!" Rikku stands up to miss Piggy.  
  
"Hmn, you have bad taste."  
  
"Bitch!" Rikku lunges at Miss Piggy.  
  
"Hey ladies, why don't you fight over a REAL man?" Jecht asks.  
  
Auron stuffs a thing of Saki into Jecht's mouth to shut him up. Wakka cheers as hair flys, cheering on the cat fight taking place. Yuna screeches at the top of her lungs, and decks the nearest person. In this case it was LuLu.  
  
Tidus turns and faces Yuna startled. "Yuna?"  
  
"Hey ma'am," Jecht slurs already drunk. "Why don't you bring that over sized bubble blower over here."  
  
"That's it Tidus, I don't care how you feel your fathers dead!"  
  
"Stay out of it I'll take care of it." Tidus orders and jumps on Jecht.  
  
Lu Lu angry grabs Yuna by the hair and starts a second cat fight. Just for the sake of it Auron starts a fight with Kimahri. Kermit looks around panicked. Clifford walks into the room and looks around.  
  
"Wow talk about the 'good the bad and the funky.'" Clifford laughs and walks by.  
  
"Uhh, err, this is Kermit the frog signing out. Next will be FF 7, I hope."  
  
"Meep, meep!"  
  
****  
  
"Man this episode was just like a bad Fox Show."  
  
"No I think it was more like Jerry Springer, without the uninsperational words at the end."  
  
Both men break out laughing.  
  
***   
  
Tee hee 


	3. Interview Three

OH yes I told you I'm not done yet. i don't remeber if its' Fozzy or Fuzzy for give me if I f-ed up. *language*  
  
Disclaimer I do not own muppets or Finial Fantasy 7  
  
  
  
"Hello, welcome to the Kermit show." Kermit clears his throat. "Sorry our show was off air for a while, the finial fantasy 10 group left us with a recovering cast." Kermit makes a funny face. "So uh yeah lets give it up for the cast of finial fantasy seven YAY!"  
  
The crowd cheers wildly and the finial fantasy group files unto the stage.   
  
"So introduce your selves, and might I say your one large cast."  
  
Cloud mumbles something and Tifa and Aeris hit him hard to shut him up.  
  
"I'm Tifa Lockhart."  
  
"Aeris."  
  
Tifa and Aeris hit Cloud again. Kermit grows concerned with the violence mounting in the room.  
  
"Cloud Strife."  
  
"Barret, nice to meet you Kermit I'm a fan of yours."  
  
"Well, it's nice to met you to Barret." Kermit responds happily. At least one was normal.  
  
"Read VIII," Red VIII yawns.  
  
"Hojo, this is my wife Lacrecia and my son Sephiroth."  
  
"Ex-wife," Lacrecia says with a grudge. "And we were technically married."  
  
"Lacreicia is not my mom Jenova is." Sephiroth says sitting next to something in something that looked like a coffin.  
  
"She is NOT!" Lacrecia shrieks. "I'm your mother! I can't believe what that man made you believe."  
  
"I did not make him believe it, stop trying to turn him against me!" Hojo snaps back.  
  
Kermit looks from the family and sweat-drops, this couldn't be good. This SO couldn't be good.  
  
"Shut up you asshole, you will not hurt Lacrecia with your words." A man interrupts.  
  
"Uh err, sir who are you?" Kermit breaks in.  
  
"Vincent Valentine. I love Lacrecia even though she'd never leave that monster."  
  
"Who, Sephiroth?" Cloud asks.  
  
"No, you dolt, Hojo." Lacrecia snaps. "Vincent get Sephiroth, Hojo I'm going to actually marry a man that loves me."  
  
Vincent smiles and grabs Sephiroth and throws Sephiroth over his shoulder. Lacrecia puts a hand around Vincent's waist and walks off the show. Kermit blinks confused, and Sephiroth turned chibi and was screaming for mama Jenova.   
  
"Wow he had to mommies, cool." Kermit responds first thing that comes to his mind.  
  
Aeris and Tifa groans and the forgotten back in man starts to cuss. Cloud scratches his head utterly confused at what just gone on, and Red VIII managed to fall asleep during all of this. Kermit sucks in a breathe and looks over the group. You could hear the crickets in the background.  
  
"Hey Kermit?" Fozzy walks in.  
  
"What?" Kermit asks.  
  
"What do you call a person with to mothers?"  
  
"Fucked up." Cid responds in back.  
  
"Uh, er." Kermit glances at Cid. "I don't know."  
  
"Completely spoiled, wakka wakka wakka."   
  
"OKAY, and who are you in back?" Kermit asks.  
  
"I'm fucking Cid, and I got to drag there sorry asses around." Cid responds lighting a cigarette.  
  
"DIE!"  
  
The group looks up startled as a sword goes to Fozzy. Just like it did Aeris the day she supposedly died. Sephiroth eye twitches as he looks at Kermit. He pulls his sword out of Fozzy and heads towards Kermit. Kermit screams and looks around for something to hide behind. Grabbing one of the chickens, Kermit tosses it at Sephiroth.  
  
"BAWK!"  
  
"Sephiroth deary please don't." Aeris shouts and runs in front of Sephiroth. "I know there's other things you want to do right now."  
  
"Your right." Sephiroth tosses Aeris over his shoulder. "I go now, there is something more I need to do."  
  
Aeris giggles and pretends to struggle, Clouds face goes pale, and to the ultimate blank. Tifa pokes Fozzy with a stick, the bear doesn't move. She smiles nervously and looks at Kermit.  
  
"Uh, err, I think this is all of the Kermit show." Kermit gasps. "Next week, I don't know who's next week."  
  
****  
  
"BRAVO, BRAVO, BRAVO!"  
  
"What your friend Bravo's in the front row again."  
  
"No but they finally killed that annoying bear."  
  
***  
  
Sorry if it's not as creative. 


End file.
